Cheating For Revenge
Everybody who cheats has a good reason, some people would call them excuses, but whatever you call them, everybody who cheats has one. The reasons people cheat do not have to be profound, it can be as simple as they were drunk and somebody attractive was just there at the right place at the right time.
Cheating will change relationships and the people in them for better or for worse, nothing will ever be the same. Even if the secret never gets out, things change and everybody knows it, they may not know how or why, but they can feel it. If the people are very lucky things will change for the better. If the relationship breaks up because of the infidelity it could still be a good thing that was long overdue to happen. The break up will free the cheater to pursue the new relationship or give them the chance to be single so they don’t have to sneak around and lie. The break up will also give the person who was cheated on the opportunity to be available to go out and be with someone who is better for them.
Changes for the worse usually happen when the cheating was done purposely to get revenge on the other person. When we use any of our energy to hurt other people we cause the hurt that came from them to be continued against us. It rarely affects the person we are trying to get revenge on the way we imagine it will. If they have cheated on us chances are they don’t really care that much about us or the relationship anyway. A part of us already knows this and feels it down to our soul but the pain and anger we are feeling robs us of all our rational thinking and has us hatching the perfect plan that hopefully brings the person who hurt us to their knees, crying and begging for us to come back because they realize what they had. Of course in this mini play that goes on in our head we will have fallen deeply in love with the one we cheated with, and they feel exactly same way about us, and we tell our old lover to get lost because we are in love with the new person, and not only that, but they are great in bed. In reality things rarely go this way in this situation.
Just the act of planning to cheat starts bringing some level of relief to our pain but does not fully take it away. Planning to get revenge can simply be acting out in one of the stages of grief that an infidelity can bring about. But this planning is sometimes all that keeps us going during the hard times. Having sex with somebody just to get back at somebody else may not be in our character and by the time we have done all the planning we can do, we may have worked out a lot of the anger and helps us to realize that we don’t need to go through with our plan. That really is for the better because cheating on someone for revenge is likely to feel like we cheated ourselves which adds to our pain, and not faze the other person at all.