There is obviously the possibility of legal implications during divorce proceedings if one party in a marriage is involved in an extramarital relationship, but the party to “blame” is a much more in depth psychological tango than any court today is really equipped to appropriately examine. Regardless of the face or façade that the “innocent” party may present and convince their friends and family and possibly even a court of, the truth remains and the “innocent” party will always know what part they may have actually played in possibly motivationally inducing their partner to the eventual point of exploring options beyond their relationship. Non-doing is possibly just as much of an issue as doing when it comes to relationships and one person’s excessive inactivity is a factor which likely should be considered equal to another person’s potentially excessive activity. Standing idly by is sadly, in a court, not an activity which is taken into account and yet is an obviously reasonable motivation in an open discussion with a friend. If, for instance, you told a friend that you would really appreciate a hug because your husband refuses to hug you and that kind of contact is important to your psychological well being, then your friend would more than likely be sympathetic and truly understanding and most likely give you a hug without a thought.

Human relationships are something that is far beyond the often black and white programming fed to society through media like movies and organized governmental bodies which are created by wealthy people to easily manipulate and control the masses. The simple fact that the standards across the world are so widely varying is an impervious testament to the ridiculousness of thinking in black and white terms. If one looks at the black and white of societies across the world throughout history, it all becomes completely absurd. What is normal and acceptable in one country is possibly considered inappropriate and unacceptable in another. Humans are humans, regardless of location, and relationships are as varied as people are!

It is time to stop blaming and start moving forward to resolve the situation.

The idea here is that you both get to play a little in a socially acceptable way and do so in a space together where you don’t feel you are doing anything secret at all. In fact, you can both dance with the same person at the same time! This may eventually lead to both of you becoming even more adventurous and occasionally expanding your relationship, but that is beyond the scope of this article.

So how do you choose the right club for your adventurous liaisons to enrich your relationship with your life partner?

The Right Music
The right music can really set the mood in a space and you will want to make sure that you are choosing the right music for what you are interested in doing. If you want to “bump and grind” then RnB clubs are probably your best bet! The music is sensual and/or romantic and the attendees tend to be a bit more on the sensual side also!

The Right Atmosphere
Lighting and colors really can do a lot to make a space sensually stimulating and properly set the mood for a pleasurable night of delicious dancing! Find a club that has a really sensual atmosphere and it will be much easier to get intimate with your dance partners. Soft and sensuous purples and reds make for a really conducive sensual atmosphere so look into what is available in your area and find a place that is really wonderful to you!

The Right Crowd
The right crowd is obviously an important component to your successful clubbing expedition with your significant other. If you don’t have a crowd of sensually open dancers around you then it may be more difficult to have as enjoyable a night. You can be sure to enjoy dancing with your partner regardless of what everyone else is up to, and you may be surprised to see the rest of the dance floor following suit if you do start to get a little more intimate with each other.

Hopefully this has given you some good ideas about how you and your partner can have a good night of fun on the town and expand your sensuality lovers and friends in a whole new and non-threatening way. So go for it and have fun together!

Let’s look at what you can do to enhance your love and better protect from infidelity.

Positive Attitude

First and foremost it is important to have a positive attitude about your sensual relationship in a way that makes making love to you something that someone actually enjoys and looks forward to. If it feels at all to your partner like it is a chore for you to make love, then your partner is much less likely to enjoy the experience as it is a mutual expression of your love. If you lay there like that is all you are required to do or just don’t do your best to enjoy and pleasure your partner in your most intimate moments, your action and inaction will likely affect more than just your partner’s happiness with your relationship in the bedroom. It is basically a rather deep insult to not express your love to your partner in a sensual way if that is something your partner appreciates and enjoys. It is an even further insult if your partner actually does their best to please you. This is something that can possibly affect your relationship in many ways. On a positive note, the affects of a positive attitude about your sensual love life can make your relationship flourish and also bring your partner to new depths of love.

Active Participation

Actively participating in your sensual relationship is a highly important aspect of making your partner happy in ways that will contribute to an appropriately sustainable relationship beyond your bedroom. You having the loving touch and willingness to express your loving appreciation and devotion to your partner is of the highest importance in your relationship. Your willingness to make sweet love to your chosen life partner should be as though your partner’s body is an extension of your own. Your partner’s pleasure is your actual pleasure as much or more than your personal pleasure is. Now you know that your active participation is as important as making yourself available to your partner, so make sure to do all you can to be actively involved in your sensual intimacy with your chosen life partner.

Initiating Intimacy

Initiating intimacy is a ridiculously important aspect of a happy relationship and you may have overlooked this all too necessary facet of a good sensual relationship. Make sure you make the moves on your partner whenever you can and do your best to make your lover feel loved and desired in all the right ways. You may be very surprised with the results as your love will likely enhance your partner’s psychological and physical health and personal confidence. This can all turn into positive changes in your life inside and outside the bedroom.

Dating is not just for single people anymore, many married couples go on dates regularly and those that do are likely having more fun in their married relationship because of it. Here are two ways of dating that can really make your married life more fun than you possibly even imagined before.

Basic
You and your spouse simply arrange dates just like you did before you were married. It is good to keep the location a surprise. It is also good to alternate who chooses the location. It is recommended that you rent a hotel and vary the hotel you stay in. You should set this up on a calendar and not skip any dates unless the circumstances would cause stress to your relationship. Have fun!

Advanced
There is a more advanced form of dating which is possibly a lot more fun for many couples, although it possibly requires a really playful couple to do it properly! The basic concept is based on role playing. You are basically going to be choosing roles and then going out on a date together as the two roles you choose to play. You are basically setting up a blind date with your own spouse as a person you have never met before. Let’s say an airline pilot and a ballerina, or possibly an airline stewardess and a rock star. You hopefully get the general idea. The sky’s the limit, pun intended. Begin by deciding on roles together and then alternate who rents the hotel room each time you arrange your date. Make sure the hotel location and so on is a surprise to the other person. Also, have the other person choose the date location and do the same by keeping it a surprise and alternating who chooses every time. This way one person is always arranging the hotel or date and surprising the other person. You will likely want to set a budget for the hotel and date each time. One person pays for the date, and the other pays for the hotel out of that budget regardless of where the money actually comes from. This keeps it fun and surprising for both. Make sure you dress up as you and your spouse conceptualize your role as much as possible. Vary your hair styles. Have fun with it!!!!

There is so much possibility here! Any loving couple should benefit immensely from either or both of these married dating styles.

To get a ringside seat of this show in jealousy and envy, all you really have to do is leave your house. In every mall, club, and even grocery store, you will bear witness to the lack of respect and blatant hate that some women express to each other. It seems like women are slowly being conditioned, or conditioning themselves to turn against each other.
One of the most frequent violations that women perpetrate against each other is crossing the line with another woman’s man.

There is no woman who wants to experience losing her man to another woman. Any woman will acknowledge that this would be a very painful experience and a deep betrayal. The irony of this truth is that, even the women who are adamant that having anything to do with a man who is already taken, constitutes near blasphemy, will actively engage in seducing a man who is not available. Sometimes the mere fact that a man is taken is what makes him so appealing.

Fortunately, not all women think this way, and the ones who do are usually found out for the insecure pitiful creatures that they are. But for those women who still believe in sisterhood and standing together with other women to make each other stronger, they have to constantly watch their backs, against those do not. And they have become quite precise at identifying which women not to ever trust.

When a woman is out with her man, her attention is instinctively called to women who are presenting themselves as threats to her relationship. If the man is trustworthy and respectful, he will be oblivious to what this scandalous woman is doing, but for maybe a brief glance in her direction, if she is attractive. That is as far as it will go, for him; but his partner will be continually reminded of exactly what is out there waiting to pounce on her man.

There is a big difference between admiring a good looking man, and making a play for him. Most men will not recognize the difference immediately, but a woman knows it the second she sees it.
When a woman admires a man who is taken, it is usually seen as a compliment by his wife or girlfriend. But when the admiration is done in a way to catch the attention of that man, the admirer has more in mind than simply giving a compliment. Anytime a woman finds ways to put herself in the inner circle of a man’s life, she is making a play for him. If a woman offers herself in any way that should be reserved only for the woman he is already with, she is purposefully trying to take him away; and women do know what is reserved for intimate relationships. When a woman finds out your guy is taken she will not usually pursue having any type of relationship with him, even platonic, unless she does want to take your guy.

Becoming the other woman usually happens in a way that seems to soften the blow, and gives you just enough room to rationalize the situation to the point of deceiving yourself about what’s really happening.  By the time you are painfully aware of your new role, you are so deep in the situation that to go back would mean facing the ugly facts of the truth.  It seems so much easier on your ego to continue to go forward holding on to your expectations of the outcome you promised yourself.  But no matter what you told yourself, to allow this to happen, the reality of the situation is not pretty and very painful.  It has you questioning your sanity, judgment, and intelligence.

Being the other woman in a relationship means that we are the person who was last to come into the relationship and who needs to be kept a secret.  The need for us to be kept secret comes from our partners desire to keep the primary woman happy and invested in the relationship.  This fact alone is demeaning and insulting, but the spin that our partner puts on it will surely paint a completely different picture.  Unfortunately, we are very much aware of our partner’s ability to paint pretty pictures over, the less than desirable parts, of his character and moral fiber.

If you were lured into the role of second best by lies, only to be told the truth after you were emotionally attached to him, this should be all the validation you need to be able to walk away from the situation with no feelings of responsibility or guilt attached.  But if you knew his status before you let yourself become emotionally and physically involved with him, it may be a little more difficult to walk away.  In this situation you made the decision to jump in with your eyes open, all the while convincing yourself that this was how it had to be for now, but it would only be temporary; but you didn’t take into consideration that something can be temporary for a long time.  A respectable man would not expect any woman to take on his situation, temporary or not, if it would cause her pain.

However it was that you found yourself in this unsavory situation, once you realize that this is not what you want for yourself, every single day should be spent backing yourself out of it.

Cheating will change relationships and the people in them for better or for worse, nothing will ever be the same.  Even if the secret never gets out, things change and everybody knows it, they may not know how or why, but they can feel it.  If the people are very lucky things will change for the better.  If the relationship breaks up because of the infidelity it could still be a good thing that was long overdue to happen.  The break up will free the cheater to pursue the new relationship or give them the chance to be single so they don’t have to sneak around and lie.  The break up will also give the person who was cheated on the opportunity to be available to go out and be with someone who is better for them.

Changes for the worse usually happen when the cheating was done purposely to get revenge on the other person.  When we use any of our energy to hurt other people we cause the hurt that came from them to be continued against us.  It rarely affects the person we are trying to get revenge on the way we imagine it will.  If they have cheated on us chances are they don’t really care that much about us or the relationship anyway.  A part of us already knows this and feels it down to our soul but the pain and anger we are feeling robs us of all our rational thinking and has us hatching the perfect plan that hopefully brings the person who hurt us to their knees, crying and begging for us to come back because they realize what they had.  Of course in this mini play that goes on in our head we will have fallen deeply in love with the one we cheated with, and they feel exactly same way about us, and we tell our old lover to get lost because we are in love with the new person, and not only that, but they are great in bed.  In reality things rarely go this way in this situation.

Just the act of planning to cheat starts bringing some level of relief to our pain but does not fully take it away.  Planning to get revenge can simply be acting out in one of the stages of grief that an infidelity can bring about.  But this planning is sometimes all that keeps us going during the hard times.  Having sex with somebody just to get back at somebody else may not be in our character and by the time we have done all the planning we can do, we may have worked out a lot of the anger and helps us to realize that we don’t need to go through with our plan.  That really is for the better because cheating on someone for revenge is likely to feel like we cheated ourselves which adds to our pain, and not faze the other person at all.

Some of the couple’s friends and family want to know their secret to such ideal marital bliss.  The more jaded or doubting members of the bunch, sit around and speculate about how it all must be fake and just for show to impress or fool everybody into thinking that they are the perfect couple.

Surprisingly the couple who appears to be happy and close can really be acting.  It really is possible that their marriage is on the brink of divorce.  The happy couple may be unhappier than they have in a long time.  So what gives with their academy award performance?  Is it really an act for appearances sake, just to make everybody else eat their hearts out?  While that is a possibility, it is highly unlikely.  Most people who are really that unhappy don’t usually go out their way to put up a front for other people’s benefit.  Impressing their friends and family is probably the last thing they care about with their marriage about to crumble into a million pieces.

Other people may not be the reason for this couple’s acting in this way, but saving their marriage is.  When two people let themselves get taken to the point in their marriage where it starts draining their emotional energy and they feel desperate for things to change, they are willing to do anything to feel better.  They no longer care so much about who is right or who is wrong.  Past transgressions are eagerly thrown out for good.  If there is still love between two people and their desire is to stay together, if they can find a way to be happy again, desperation and surrender will wipe the old slate clean.

Old habits die hard but new habits speed things along.  The couple desperate to change things but feel they have tried everything will be thrilled to find that doing the simplest things can drastically improve their marriage.  It is as easy as remembering that a person will live up to what is expected of them.  Being respectful to someone who may have lost your respect years ago may just be what makes that person feel like earning it back.  Rarely does a person who loves you respond negatively to thoughtful gestures and sweet smiles.  Surrendering common niceness, withheld because of anger and hurt, to your spouse will feel so foreign to them that it can work like magic in taking you both back to the time when everything about each other was new and exciting.  Acting out the love you feel towards the person you married will help remind you and them of the good things you love about them.  It is a fun way to start on the road to being truly happily married.

If something truly functions well in making a happy and harmonious society, then applying it to your relationship may be very effective. If something isn’t healthy on a societal level, it isn’t likely so healthy for your relationship either. So what makes a healthy, harmonious, peaceful, and productive society? Let’s take a lesson from the world book and see if we can apply it to a relationship to prevent any need for infidelity.

While some western cultures have a tendency for operating in ways that are relatively unnatural, unhealthy, violent, and dysfunctional, some of the world’s cultures have actually maintained a healthy connection with their natural instincts in a modern and productive manner. So what is this magic formula that makes some cultures so harmonious and functional, while other cultures seem relatively dysfunctional and repressed?

It’s surprisingly pretty simple and it may be rather shocking. You just take the innate genetic desires of man and combine them with the innate genetic desires of woman. At the basic level, women generally desire long term financial stability and men generally desire regular sexual fulfillment. The truth is that the special aspect unique to these healthy and harmonious societies, surprisingly enough, is a healthy and regulated sex industry. It is a simple and amazingly efficient social system based on fulfilling the basic desires of both parties without any unnecessary judgment interfering in the happiness of either party. Perhaps even more amazingly, in these cultures it is actually a relatively innocent industry as it is socially accepted, regulated, and is generally seen as simply fulfilling the natural desire to relieve stress. As a result, the men are extraordinarily productive in the workplace and the society is extraordinarily harmonious. In addition, the rates for dangerous crimes are a fraction of what they are in more repressed cultures, and STD’s are also relatively rare. If you really ponder the dynamics, is it really so surprising? Just about any primate society would be harmonious if all of the females felt safe and provided for, and all of the males felt sexually fulfilled.

So how do you apply this to your relationship? What we learn from this example is that for a man to be productive and supply the long term stability that women usually desire, the man’s desires need to be properly fulfilled on a regular basis. Sex is actually rather innocent, healthy, and enjoyable when it is not repressed. Humans will generally do what is necessary to fulfill their innate natural desires and more repressed they feel, the more distorted their physical desires tend to become. This is really easy to prevent as men have pretty simple needs in a relationship. It really comes down to loving physical contact and emotional support.

If you satisfy his sexual and emotional needs, he will find it much easier to be productive and focus on fulfilling your needs. He will also be much less likely to go looking for another woman to satisfy his body’s quest for satisfaction.

During the infatuation stage of a relationship this new loyalty comes easy. When we meet the person who sets us on fire and captures every bit of our waking attention, we are willing to do and say anything to be in their presence.

A person in the, sweet and sticky, grip of infatuation walks around with a fixed smile on their face. Everything they see or hear, reminds them of that one person. The body is being flooded with the hormone Dopamine which makes us just feel good all over, and  creates a sense of bliss. We are relating every good feeling we have to this one person. We cannot get enough of them, so we make our pledge to them.

This new pledge is the pledge of monogamy. The one big problem with this, is that infatuation has a natural expiration date, and monogamy does not. Unfortunately, people fall out of infatuation, but are left with their pledge. Now the feelings are very different than when the deal was first made.

A few months before the infatuation wore off, it was almost impossible to imagine being with anybody else. Now it’s hard to imagine not being able to be with anybody else, ever again. By the time people come off of the infatuation high, they may already be in love with each other. If they are in love, it is time for both people to re-evaluate the relationship and possibly take it a step further. The other half of the couples will realize that they are just not infatuated anymore and take it to the next step, but going in the complete opposite direction.

Both couples have a choice at this point, not just the couple who are not in love. Monogamy is a decision, and not necessarily a natural one. The whole idea of mating and procreating supports the theory that being monogamous is an evolutionary decision that seems to go against nature. What is worse is that monogamy is monotonous. It does not matter how in love two people are, it is nearly impossible to go throughout life, without being attracted to, fascinated by, or sexually desiring another person.

Passion is the driving force behind purpose. Passion is a natural explosion of all that is good within us and is not dictated by our rational thought. We are passionate about our love for our children, and keeping them safe and happy, but even that is not a choice, it is our natural instinct.

Going against nature always has it’s risks. It is very important to be fully aware of monogamy as a decision, and not expect it to happen naturally. A good way to make it possible is to keep it aligned with our natural passions and impulses.