Catch Spouse Cheating

An exciting next step in a new relationship, is when both parties agree to become exclusive with each other. Even before there are declarations of love exchanged, this new level of intimacy represents a statement of loyalty to each other. It is both people saying to each other that there is no one else they want to date or have sex with.

During the infatuation stage of a relationship this new loyalty comes easy. When we meet the person who sets us on fire and captures every bit of our waking attention, we are willing to do and say anything to be in their presence.

A person in the, sweet and sticky, grip of infatuation walks around with a fixed smile on their face. Everything they see or hear, reminds them of that one person. The body is being flooded with the hormone Dopamine which makes us just feel good all over, and  creates a sense of bliss. We are relating every good feeling we have to this one person. We cannot get enough of them, so we make our pledge to them.

This new pledge is the pledge of monogamy. The one big problem with this, is that infatuation has a natural expiration date, and monogamy does not. Unfortunately, people fall out of infatuation, but are left with their pledge. Now the feelings are very different than when the deal was first made.

A few months before the infatuation wore off, it was almost impossible to imagine being with anybody else. Now it’s hard to imagine not being able to be with anybody else, ever again. By the time people come off of the infatuation high, they may already be in love with each other. If they are in love, it is time for both people to re-evaluate the relationship and possibly take it a step further. The other half of the couples will realize that they are just not infatuated anymore and take it to the next step, but going in the complete opposite direction.

Both couples have a choice at this point, not just the couple who are not in love. Monogamy is a decision, and not necessarily a natural one. The whole idea of mating and procreating supports the theory that being monogamous is an evolutionary decision that seems to go against nature. What is worse is that monogamy is monotonous. It does not matter how in love two people are, it is nearly impossible to go throughout life, without being attracted to, fascinated by, or sexually desiring another person.

Passion is the driving force behind purpose. Passion is a natural explosion of all that is good within us and is not dictated by our rational thought. We are passionate about our love for our children, and keeping them safe and happy, but even that is not a choice, it is our natural instinct.

Going against nature always has it’s risks. It is very important to be fully aware of monogamy as a decision, and not expect it to happen naturally. A good way to make it possible is to keep it aligned with our natural passions and impulses.